I had a Christmas list, as did Hadley, and of course hers was way more exciting than the one I wrote to my mom (which included boring sports bras and a warmer blanket from my bed). Being five, she is really only in tune with the 'fun Christmas'. The one that brings toys, and cookies, and letters to Santa, train rides and light shows and school concerts. Being five, she is unaware that some people are sick, or out of work. Some people have lost loved ones or spouses. Some people are hungry or poor and unable to give their families anything at all over the holiday season. Hadley is unaware of this. She is naive to the fact that everyone doesn't live like we do. I am very aware of the Christmas that can be hard. I understand loss during Christmas and what it does to you as a person, how it can totally consume you. This Christmas I am certainly thankful for a lot of things, none of them are material. I didn't get the wellies that I wanted this fall, I still don't have my LV bag, Hadley wasn't able to get an American Girl Doll this year and I really wasn't able to give the gifts that I had been able to give in past years. I am at a point in my life where I really truely found happiness in other things. Martinis and Ipods in front of the fireplace, boogie boarding at the beach with the girls, hanging out with family, connecting with old friends, going for a nice long swim, reading this summer with my kindle, sitting and talking with my bestest guy! These are all things that gave me more joy this year in 2011 than any LV bag, or expensive shoes could have. Yes, I finally got my TAG watch this year, but at the end of the day, it's just a thing. It's just something for someone else to covet! It's not going to sit with me at the beach, it's not going to kiss me hello, it's not going to make me laugh as much as I did this year. I do like nice things of course I do, but I would rather be happy with myself, and with my husband. I would trade Tory for a good husband any day!
So this Christmas I would like of course the usual boring stuff such as underwear, new pajamas and a new speedo. In addition to this, there is a long list of things that I would love to see/have as 2012 rolls in. This is in no order of importance:
- I would like Ella's tumor to be benign
- I wish for NO drama (except the usual small sibbling fights to put out)
- I want Dennis to finalize his divorce
- I want to be up and running with this new job
- I want to bike and swim injury free
- I want to be free of court rooms and petitions being filed against me
- I want my house to be mine and only mine
- I want to spend four days in Fl with my best guy
- I want the Baldwin Crew team to do well as this is my last yr coaching
- I want to have a savings account
- I want to be under one roof with my man, with my daughter and his two daughters once and for all
Don't get me wrong! I'm not checking out on society and giving up the little luxuries that I currently have to live in a hut someplace and I'm not joining a convent or moving to a monestary. It's nice to have good things. But having good things is a bonus in life, not a priority. The list above is my priority! None of those things can be wrapped!!
